Daddy Dearest

Never spank your children. Not only will this piss them off and provide Leslie Abramson with a defense, but worst of all, it also means that while you have them over your lap, they can reach down into your ankle holster, grab your gun, and get two or three shots off. True, they probably won't be able to get a clear shot at your head from that position, but they will probably disable you enough so that you won't be able to get the gun out of your other ankle holster. Then all that's left for you is to beg for mercy, which means you're dead because, as any parent knows, kids these days just don't listen.