Strippers and Children

14. Okay, then, how about an intergalactic spaceport? It would serve rockets and spacecraft coming in from distant worlds, like . . . like . . . like the moon! Remember when people went to the moon? That was cool. I wish astronauts still got to go to the moon. That's the reason I stopped wanting to be an astronaut. You can't go to the moon, anymore. I miss the 20th century. Sometimes at night, I lay in bed pretending there's a big rocket ship blasting over my house, even though I know it's just a plane.

15. Lotsa jobs. Everyone knows that airports create all kinds of exciting jobs: baggage-cart retrieval, baggage handling, fast-food concessions, wheel-chair guiding, trash pickup and luggage tagging. The fat lady in the stretch pants who drives the golf cart with its delicately balanced burden of people too fat to walk. And we're not even talking about the job where that guy with the two flashlights guides the planes around the terminal. So many jobs. So many low-skill jobs, which, of course, is just what we need. Orange County already has plenty of high-skill, high-paying jobs. It's about time we got back to the basics of mind-numbing, back-breaking labor.

16. Whoooooosh!

17. George Argyros needs a break. He gets pushed around, criticized, even bashed a lot, but that guy has really had a tough life. Nothing ever goes his way. This airport is his way of finally making it big.