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THANK YOU, PLEASE COME AGAIN
Yes, there it was last Thursday afternoon, just as you promised: your annual Sex Issue—fresh, hot and moist off the press. One look at that cover and I thought to myself, "Well, spank my keister with a frying pan and call me 'Daddy,' ain't this gonna be fun?!" But yet again, it was not to be.
Yes, everything starts out promising. A coy peek behind the veneer of the porn industry? Yes. A fleeting glance at life as a centerfold? Yes. Articles declaring the delights of drunken debauchery and self-pleasure yes of marital aids and red-light zones yes of beach-blond babes and silicon breasts yes of yin and yang and yes and yes I kept reading like mad and yes I said yes I will.
But a new Rockie Horoscope column? Nope. What dark, twisted souls work at this paper? For two weeks in a row now, you've printed the same forecasts from the end of last month. Even after pointing this out to you last week in a letter to the editor (Letters, Feb. 11), you continue to make the same mistake. Are you ever going run a current horoscope? Come on, Weeklings, stop being such teases. Give up the goods.
Still vexed and pissed—and now also exceedingly frustrated,
Reading Jim Washburn's column "Where I Been" (Lost in OC, Feb. 4) is a lot like having a one-sided conversation with Keith Richards: you come away from it feeling a little insane but much more dialed into the big picture.
The article by Butch Warner ("The Weekly Guide to Doing Time," Feb. 4) is a fairly accurate portrayal of jail life in California. But I'm a veteran of the Orange County jail system (after serving more than 10 years here and several more in state prison), and I have never, ever seen a black person eat at the same table as a Hell's Angel—or any other biker, for that matter. I also beg to differ with Warner's parting shot—that all you must do to stay out of jail is positive things. I have changed my life dramatically in the past five years: no drugs, no alcohol, no criminal behavior. I even work as a volunteer stage manager for a community theater. But guess what? I routinely get harassed by cops and am right now doing weekends at the OC Jail for a very minor mistake—for which, of course, the only remedy is jail.
Steve PayneSan ClementeButch Warner responds: The fact that an African-American would sit with Dave Ortega—a Hell's Angels member—is testament to Ortega's wide-ranging fame as an illustrator. He's rare, ideed. But I never wrote that all you have to do is be positive to avoid jail. As with anything else in life, luck helps, and commitment helps even more. I'm sorry the cops keep harassing you. When I was first released, the cops took my new truck and routinely rousted me every chance they got. I lived in a halfway house for a month after my release and in a motel (with another con) for four months until I could afford a place of my own. I was laid off from my job after seven months; luck intervened, and I quickly found another. I never looked back, and today the cops smile at me when I walk down the avenue. By the way, the story is not just a "fairly accurate portrayal of jail life in California." It's the goddamned truth as I saw it, and I saw it firsthand.
WANTS TO WRITE FOR THE WEEKLY
Thought it was nice of you to mention the closing of Club 369 featuring Lit, Zebrahead and Burnin' Groove ("Lit Up!" and Commie Girl, Jan. 28). So, naturally, I couldn't wait to read about it in the Weekly. And what coverage you guys had: not just one but two—TWO!—articles describing the events of the evening. Now that I think about it, however, the articles barely mentioned anything about Zebrahead and Burnin' Groove. Looking at it now, there seems to be only one blurb by Daren from Burnin' Groove, not even a review of either of the other band's sets. No mention of the fact that Zebrahead were playing their first show in six months since they came off the Warped Tour. Or the fact that they premiered three songs from their upcoming (currently recording) Columbia LP, the follow-up to Waist of Mind. But there was a sweet comment on the fact that Zebrahead played a Poison cover. Observant kids, aren't ya?
Two major screwups in last week's announcement of the winners of the OC Weekly Theater Awards ("The 1999 Okies," Feb. 11): actor Jay Fraley's name was misspelled, and some enthusiastic existentialist changed Jean Genet to Jean Paul Genet.