Sexless in the City

I think its just the way Orange County is

Another Asian-run business—this one in Costa Mesa—satisfied a poster. "She gave me a kiss on the cheek, as if to say goodbye, and departed for the south range." She "brought the complete satisfaction desired within a few minutes," the researcher happily reported.

However, the majority of massage customers were disappointed.

"She allowed me to caress her legs (she wore tight shorts), but that was all," wrote a limp biscuit.

"She refused anything other than a shitty massage and started out with the most phony, forced small talk," a researcher noted following his visit to a Newport Beach parlor. "It was really depressing; I left after taking a very lonely shower."

The reason for this, uh, downturn?

"The cops have been into the places trying to get the girls to solicit or touch in a suggestive way, so the girls have to be very cautious, and some have gotten into trouble," offered a poster. "As a result, what used to be a thriving little industry around OC airport has dwindled to just a few very cautious places."

Fullerton "has eight to 10 good to great massage parlors where—if you make the effort to visit often, tip well and treat the ladies nicely—they will truly be at your beck and call and give you a much better hour than you will ever receive from any snooty-ass rip-off escort queen," another poster wrote in January.

Ah, the escorts. No one receives more derision on the World Sex Guide site than personal escorts. Two researchers posted messages this past December telling about girls who came to their doors, took the money and ran. And who you gonna call? A cop?

"The money they make like that wouldn't last long," was the only solace one gent could take after a female escort and male bouncer made off with his $200 soon after their arrival at his house. "And I believe that they have caused a terrible consequence for their family and their children will become prostitutes and the trash of society. Satan bless them!"

One enlightened fellow may be on to the reason bad carnal karma exists in Orange County. "The cops are the best subscribers to media such as these," he wrote of the sex guide. "I'm not sure where they're headed with this. It seems as though we had a pretty amiable detente for a while. The cops were working to keep the streets respectable, at least until late at night, but were kind of just keeping an eye on the massage industry, where the business tends to be low-profile, inoffensive and pretty clean."

He couldn't fathom why that all changed.

"Most of the massage-parlor customers and most of the street-hooker customers are just people minding their own affairs (no pun intended). Now the cities and cops have taken a hard line with the massage places, and I wonder if they really think they can kill the world's oldest profession?"

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