"It's disheartening to see women thrashed to pieces by media images that cater to men's fantasies, instead of what men really want. When they get down to it, men just want women to be themselves and be comfortable within their sexuality and enjoy themselves."
The majority of parties are booked by women and attended by women only. But an increasing number are coed events, usually attended by couples. There's often a little extra apprehension in the air when men and women first sit in the same room with a long table covered with sexual-positions manuals, bondage cuffs, warming lotions and mentholated candies designed to enhance oral stimulation by making your partner feel like you have ice cubes in your mouth. And most of the nervousness usually comes from the men. "Men love the idea that I sell what I sell," says Martin. "It fits into a typical male fantasy—'Oh, we're gonna go over there, get lingerie, play with sex toys'—but that's exactly what it is: a total fantasy. They find they're a little intimidated when it comes to a party situation and talking openly and frankly. They invariably leave those fantasies at the door."
But if they're willing, says Martin, they can go beyond fantasy to an even more adventurous and intimate reality. "Couples are amazed when they come to realize how much vulnerability they share," she says. "Usually, the woman's chief worry is whether her thighs look fat. The guy's just worried about whether he can get the woman off."