RE-CREATED HOMESPUN, SALT-OF-THE-EARTH WISDOM

a.k.a. ''The World According to The Orange County Registers Letters to the Editor''*

"From the beginning of man's creation, the male has been the breadwinner, and for many centuries, that's the way it has successfully remained until some overbearing woman got the notion that she and all her 'sisters' should have all the 'goodies' that men have. Put women back into the home with their children and allow men to remain king of the household. Black Americans [should] be grateful for the fact that their ancestors were rescued from the horrors of African tribal warfare [and were] brought here by our southern states, albeit as slaves. It appears the time has come for another 'Boston Tea Party.' This time, instead of tea thrown into the harbor it should be the politicians who take the plunge. Pinochet, Stalin and Hitler (former government nannies) also did what they thought was right for their constituents, and we all know how that turned out. What if our noble and all-knowing nannies decide that red automobiles bring out violent tendencies so from now on people can only drive 'mood-approved color cars'? Anyone for a mauve Porsche?

"It's unfortunate America didn't take all of Mexico when it won the Mexican war in 1848. What would have been legal, appropriate behavior is for those officers to have opened fire on the entire truckload of alleged illegals. Perhaps then the driver would have stopped. Let's all get on the bandwagon and blame the loss of the Mars probe on our failure to adopt metrics. . . . The French, who brought us the metric system, also gave us such inventions as the Bastille and the guillotine. When was the last time the French launched a successful mission to the moon or beyond? I felt Paul Hodgins' review in the Register of Les Miserables was grossly unfair. It is my feeling that the 19th Amendment needs to be amended as follows: each woman's vote will be counted as two-thirds of a vote. This is due to the constant factor of 'good looks.' How else to explain the lead in the polls of President [Bill] Clinton? When I was a boy, America was a beautiful place to live. We had no gang wars, divorces, welfare [or] abortions, and sex outside of marriage was illegal. Since then, we have let the American Civil Liberties Union kick God out of our schools and let the devil in. This can be changed. We have to amend the First Amendment so that the ACLU cannot use it to its advantage. Anyone who wishes to know what the Democrats and their party stand for should go the [sic] Internet and read the Manifesto of the Communist Party. We have sympathy for the people of the United Methodist Church, which was destroyed with loss of life, but the United Methodist Church is one of the most liberal and apostate denominations. The pastor was a woman, and the Bible says, 'Let your women keep silence in the churches.' It is time to change 'God bless America' to 'God have mercy upon America.' We've a government that controls us from birth until death. Government is very afraid we will someday take our country back. That's why they want to take away our guns. I wish to add another bit of data for those who wish to arm themselves with a handgun. I recommend that the weapon be a revolver instead of a pistol. The automatic is more complicated and more prone to accidents. What has 25 years of affirmative action got us? For one thing, a suspicion of minorities in high positions. If you're in a life-threatening situation and need a doctor, better get a white male. You can be sure that he got his position on merit because the deck was stacked against him. He made it in spite of reverse discrimination. Orange County gangs have killed many more women and children [than mountain lions]. Shouldn't we consider the hunting of gang members? Imagine that we as a society put people to death for repeating a criminal offense for the third time—graffiti, theft, rape, all crimes! No exceptions. Can anyone think of a downside to this approach? I can't. Homosexuals' only contribution as a group in society is the scourge of the worldwide spread of AIDS. The left-wing liberals and the homosexuals deserve each other. Does not the Jan. 17 earthquake, and common sense and logic, tell us that maybe the almighty God—creator of all—is trying to tell us something? Should we ask his forgiveness? Instead of debating how much funding is appropriate for AIDS research, we should be petitioning our government to redirect those dollars to research the cause and prevention of homosexuality. What a gift we could give the future generations of the world if families did not have to suffer the social disgrace and despair of learning and having to live with the fact that one of their own is a homosexual. I cannot vote for Kathleen Brown as I swore an oath never to vote for a female candidate. Females are on the attack and we males must oppose them at every point. Unwillingly, I am a man who abets pornography. Just what is there to save our land from the fiery judgment that is coming?"

*Each sentence taken verbatim from the Letters pages of The Orange County Register.

 
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