HERE ALREADY

And what about re-creating Disneyland's own back yard, a historically accurate representation of Anaheim itself? What about an army of strolling, costumed pimps and hos, hearkening back to the era 20 years ago when prostitution was rampant along Harbor Boulevard, just across the street? What of old-time, 1920s Anaheim, when the city was a KKK stronghold (they could call it Ku Klux Kland!)? Or how about a Great Moments with Bitter, Defeated Ex-Congressman Bob Dornan, where Animatronic Bob would rail against gays, women, Jews and Loretta Sanchez? Even better—since the guy needs a job, they could hire Dornan himself! And how about paying homage to our ever-free-flowing OC freeways? Oh, wait, they already plan to—just west of the park on Disney Drive (which used to be called West Street), they're building the world's largest parking garage! Now that's authentic!

Whatever Disney's California Adventure eventually evolves into after it opens, it sure won't be anything natives will recognize as home. Probably the most telling image of the place as we left it was a sign on nearby Ball Road, attempting to make us feel better after contending with Disney's extended sprawl: YOU'VE JUST SEEN HISTORY IN THE MAKING, it blared.

But whose history was it?