Fatheads

Illustration by Bob AulI recently made the terrible mistake of eating at a Carl's Jr. near a high school at lunch time. Although annoyed by the constant laughter, I was glad to see that at least someone was having a good time. My unfortunate choice of tables made me privy to the following exchange between two 16-year-old girls who, for convenience's sake, will be called "Tiffany" and "Amber":

Tiffany: Oh, my gosh, my brother should get stomach bypass surgery, you know, where they staple your stomach shut? He's fat. Amber: Yeah. You know who has a big ass? Dave. Not fat; just big. It really bothers me. Tiffany [while chomping on a Double Western Cheeseburger]: Oh, my gosh, I hate big butts! Fat butts are worse, though. Amber: Yeah. . . . Oh, my gosh, there's Brad!

They never used the Lord's name in vain. That would be offensive. Their parents should be proud.

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