Guilty Pleasures

1101-1200

1101 The War on Blanddeclared by Too Faced Cosmetics' entrepreneurs Jerrod Blandino and Jeremy Johnson. Stars like Madonna, Drew Barrymore and Cameron Diaz sport their high-wattage lipsticks with a taste of chocolate, sparkly nail polishes, and eye shadows that make other women stop dead in their tracks. Blandino is a former sitcom star and makeup artist for Estee Lauder with a flair for glamour; Johnson brings the level-headed business sense from years as business manager at Estee Lauder and Chanel. Blandino started cooking up special requests for his clients in his kitchen at home while still toiling behind the makeup counter but soon had more orders than he could fill. Women go mad for the stuff. The best part is when the bespeckled gals get to spout off the names of their favorite sparkly shades: Hoochie, Marcia Marcia Marcia, George and Weezie, Love Hangover, Sex Kitten, You're No Lady, Boo Boo Kitty, Zsa Zsa, Miss Thing, and too many more to name. This fall, they're branching out and trying their hand at lipliner, face powder, blush and lip-gloss bauble rings-a flashback to 1970s ring watches, featuring a flip top for bland-lip emergencies.

1102 Hiking out to the end of the breakwater at the Wedge in Balboa.

1103 Walking along the marshy wetlands at Bolsa Chica as the sun sets behind you.

1104 Gary Coleman lives here.

1105 Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis?

1106 And where you goin' with that pipe bomb?

1107 Getting your blood boiling at Samara. The independent store also distributes the best alternative Latin music north of the border, as well as from Mexico down through Argentina. 2029 W. First St., Ste. 112, Santa Ana, (714) 547-0101.

1108 The teller's voice at Union Bank, farthest window on the right-so mesmerizing that I often create more inane transactions just so I can sit and listen a few moments more, spellbound by its salubrious quality. Okay, so she's the bomb to look at, too. 1090 Bayside Dr., Newport Beach, (949) 760-1081.

1109 No tsunamis.

1110 Yet.

1111"Let's all get on the bandwagon and blame the loss of the Mars probe on our failure to adopt metrics. . . . The French, who brought us the metric system, also gave us such inventions as the Bastille and the guillotine. When was the last time the French launched a successful mision to the moon or beyond?" Letter to the Register, Oct. 13, 1999.

1112 The Chupacabrasat Cuban Pete's. Skyy Vodka, Seagram's gin, Bacardi 151, Malibu rum, Pepsi and lemon-lime soda. For the low, low price of $39.95, you can get this demon puppy in a 128-ounce deadly clam size, served in an ornate shell. 1050 W. Ball Rd., Anaheim, (714) 490-2020.

1113 The land-mine-sized, homemade cinnamon rolls topped with a golf-ball-sized dollop of butter that are only served weekends at Mel's Diner. Pull off a piece of dough, dip it into the warm mixture of glaze, butter and cinnamon that collects at the bottom of your dish, and have a heart attack! 9430 Warner Ave., Ste. 1, Fountain Valley, (714) 963-2662.

1114 Spillway Literary Journal, edited by Huntington Beach's Mifanway Kaiser. It publishes work by local OC & LA poets, as well as work by nationally renowned writers. And it's available at Barnes & Noble.

1115 The nasty.

1117 Pretty waitersat Duke's in Huntington Beach. 317 Pacific Coast Hwy., Huntington Beach, (714) 374-6446.

1118 Dan Lo Fi Champion's poppy, jangly songs about girls saying they don't believe in true love even though they're holding his hand.

1119 Let's talk distilled guilt: Drinks at sunset at the Pelican Hills golf course clubhouse. The Irvine Co. is still grading the hills and will destroy Crystal Cove before it's done. But the view from the bar is divine, if the sight of $100-plus-per-round golf doesn't put you off. 222051 Pelican Hills Rd. S., Newport Beach, (949) 640-0238.

1120 Talking politics at Kelley's Cigars. 330 El Camino Real, Tustin, (714) 832-0035.

1121 The mechanics at Bullet BMW Mastersin Costa Mesa, who are so honest they told me to sell my BMW and drive what they all drive: a Camry. But I'm probably sticking with the BMW because I can't fathom losing those mechanics. 3017 Enterprise St., Ste. A, Costa Mesa, (714) 556-4269.

1122 Midway City is neither midway nor a city. Discuss.

1123 Recalling the names originally considered for Midway City:

1124 Caucasia.

1125 Tweenerville.

1126 La Habra-er

1127 La Palma-ish.

1128 Garden Groved.

1129 Stanton-esque.

1130 Six From Column A, Six From Column B.

1131 Concretia.

1132 Funkytown.

1133 If This City's A-rockin', Don't Come A-knockin.

1134 Fair to Midland.

1135 1 ⁄ 2 .

1136 Part Way.

1137 Lichtensteintown.

1138 Blacktop, USA.

1139 Way.

1140 So-So.

1141 Más o Menos.

1142 Comme çi, Comme ça.

1143 Whatsumever.

1144 Schwingtown.

1145 Bass Ackwards.

1147 Ménage à Town.

1148 New Needles.

1149 Little Boise.

1150 Passaic.

1151 Disc golf at Huntington Beach Central Park.

1152 And at UC Irvine.

1153 The "new" Orange County section of the LA Times, which bears no resemblance whatsoever to the "old" Metro section. Nope. None whatsoever. Completely different. New masthead and everything.

1154 The Long Island iced teas in the bar at Charlie Brown's across from Edison Field. A couple of these and "The Angels win the pennant! The Angels win the pennant!"

1155 Sunday artists' brunch at the Santa Ana Gypsy Den; we hear they get real bitchy! 125 N. Broadway, Santa Ana, (714) 835-8840.

1156 Spectacular eastern mountain views on blusterySanta Ana days.

1157 The row of red lanterns with gold tassels that frame a superlative view of the blue-tiled pagoda-styleAsian Garden Mall from your window seat at Dragon Phoenix Palace, where the dim sum isn't too shabby either. 9211 Bolsa Ave., Stes. 201-208, (714) 893-3682.

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