By On the occasion of our 20th anniversary
By Gustavo Arellano
By R. Scott Moxley
By Alfonso Delgado
By Courtney Hamilton
By Joel Beers
By Peter Maguire
By Charles Lam
141 Anything built before 1940 is considered a historicallandmark!
142 Looking for the Fountain, or the Valley.
143 "It's unfortunate America didn't take all of Mexico when it won the Mexican war in 1848." Letter to the Register, April 15, 1996.
144 Having the cojonesand calves to do the 20-mile Camp Pendleton Coast Ride -from the southern end of San Clemente State Beach to Oceanside using base access roads, abandoned sections of old Highway 101 and short stretches of bike path.
145 Making the 20 miles and not having the calves to get back and knowing that you can hop on the Amtrak train between Oceanside and San Clemente.
146 Orange County Zoo: located in Irvine Park, it boasts a horde of local animals, including Samson the Hot Tub Bear. 1 Irvine Park Rd., Orange, (714) 633-2022.
147 Upgrading your hard drive at Micro Center. 1100 E. Edinger Ave., Tustin, (714) 566-8500; wWw.microcenter.com.
148 Heh, heh. No. 147 said "drive."
149 Architecture at Huntington Beach High School. 1905 Main St., Huntington Beach.
150 Orange County has the top two Mercedes-Benz dealerships in America: Fletcher Jones Motorcars of Newport Beach and House of Imports in Buena Park. In fact, when Ward's Dealer Business Magazine named House of Imports the No. 1 dealer, Fletcher Jones cried foul. Ward's investigated and reportedly determined that the Buena Park dealership erroneously included used-car wholesale earnings with retail sales. The fucks. The mag's revised figures showed the House of Imports as the largest Mercedes seller, while Fletcher Jones earned the most income when sales and service were combined. Fletcher Jones Motorcars, 3300 Jamboree Rd., Newport Beach, (949) 718-3000; House of Imports, 6862 Manchester Blvd., Buena Park, (714) 637-2333.
151 The fact that I wrote that last item even though I drive a '93 Nissan in need of front-end work I can't afford.
152 Garden Grove Cruise Night. Every Friday on Garden Grove's Main Street, between Euclid and Brookhurst, you can talk Mopar and manifolds with OC car enthusiasts and then grab a beer at . . .
153 The Crooner's Lounge, OC's only bona fide Elvis bar.Located inside Azteca Restaurant, proprietor Jesse Juaregi (a.k.a. "J Elvis J") has created a shrine to his hero. Thank yew; thankyewvurymuch! 12911 Main St., Garden Grove, (714) 638-3790.
154 The Golden Bear . . . oh, yeah, it's not there anymore.
156 The benign terrorthat is the Movieland Wax Museum. 7711 Beach Blvd., Buena Park, (714) 522-1154.
157The . . . hey, did you see Jean Harlow's eye move?
158 The Cal Fed bank that's built out of an old white Victorian house. 518 N. Broadway, Santa Ana, (800) 843-2265.
159 The delicious ... there she goes again. What? Jean Harlow. No, I swear. Look-can't you see? Can't you hear her? She's telling me to do things.
161 "Hey, do you have any staunch Republican in you? You want some?"
162 Homies be frontin'.
163 CM School Supply in Fullerton, a great big friendly place to buy books, school supplies or dissection tools, and equipment to grow fungus. 210 N. Harbor Blvd., Fullerton, (714) 680-6681.
164 Oh, they be frontin', a'ight.
165 They'll front you, mister; believe you me.
166 Diedrich Coffee's in-yo'-face cups. Unlike the patronizing, pandering Starbucks, who print a whole friggin' paragraph on their cups about "Caution, the beverage you are about to enjoy may be hot-yadda, yadda, yadda," Diedrich prefers the refreshingly brisk swift kick in the groin that is "Of Course It's Hot!" I mean, come on, people, must we hold your hand? Locations countywide.
167 Knott's Independence Hall . . . oh, wait, it's not there anymore.
168Wait-yes, it is.
169 The Ronald Reagan Federal Building at night: attractive, bigger than life and the lights are on, but nobody's home. 411 W. 4th St., Santa Ana, (714) 835-3343.
170Careful . . .
171 The fact that resting in the Reagan Building's shadow are such un-Reagan-like oasesas the Empire Theatre, the Santora Building and the new (and desperately needed) Gypsy Den. In the funky village area near Broadway and Second St., Santa Ana.
172 The Dog Beach. Between Bolsa Chica and Huntington, a bit north of the pier.
173 Bob Cronk, leader of Crest View United, the citizens' group opposed to the construction of a Wal-Mart in the middle of a Huntington Beach neighborhood that used to feature the Crest View School. Cronk and friends collected more than 22,000 signatures in support of a voters referendum on the Wal-Mart. Now the developer, George Argyros' Arnel Retail group, is suing him.
174Lit guitarist Jeremy Popoff's 6-inch, braided, ZZ Topesque, whoa-that-shit-is-trippy goatee.
175Hugs not drugs.
176 Tony the bartender at the Little Knight. You'd think you would get tired of seeing a large, oddly charming, hairy man rip his shirt off and yell, "Hey, everybody! Happy New Year!" You'd be wrong. 436 E. 17th St., Costa Mesa, (949) 646-6650.
177 The Daily Pilot's list of DUI arrests. Less morbid than looking for your friends' names in the obituaries, I always say!
178 The obituaries.You've got to find out somehow.
179 The divine halibutdishes at King's Fish House. 1521 W. Katella, Orange, (714) 771-6655; 24001B Avenida de la Carlota, Laguna Hills, (949) 586-1515.
180 The flour chips and salsaat Ricardo's El Ranchito. 1351 S. Beach Blvd., La Habra, (562) 943-6020.
181 The Daily Pilot's list of the 103 most influential people in Newport Beach and Costa Mesa, which listed OC Weekly editor Will Swaim 43rd one year-behind a police dog and a cell-phone relay tower.
182 Supervisor Todd Spitzer's jaw.
183 Holy Jim Fallsnear Trabuco Canyon. The name is somewhat misleading, since the water never flows beyond a trickle and . . .