Guilty Pleasures


101 The timesaving miracle that is the business-history time line in the new George L. Argyros School of Business & Economics, located in the Arnold & Mabel Beckman Business and Technology Hall at Chapman University. According to the time line, nothingat all happened in OC for about 8,000 years. In fact, the time line starts in 6,000 B.C. with "first inhabitants" and skips to "Portola visits" in 1769.

102 Remember how the Jetsons ate meals condensed into the shape and size of a pill? We're nearly there with Habana's fabulous media noche, a ham-and-pork buffet pressed into the size and shape of a mere sandwich. (P.S. What is the difference between ham and pork?) 2930 Bristol St., Costa Mesa, (714) 556-0176.

103 The card shop at Metro Carwash in Orange. The card selection is one of the best anywhere, and it's amazing how getting your car sanitized can focus the mind on this most sentimental of tasks. If you're seeking adult cards, this ain't the place. And if you join the car-wash club (buy two washes, get two free), you also get discounts on the killer cards. 387 N. Tustin Ave., Orange, (714) 532-2155.

104 Rod's Drive-Thru Liquor store, where you can get iceat 3 a.m. without having to put on underwear. 118 W. Chapman Ave., Orange, (714) 538-5951.

105 That's a very good thing.

106 Fluorescent breastsat the Tap House. 8082 Adams Ave., Huntington Beach, (714) 374-0811.

107Chapman University's sea of disembodied heads-busts of Ella Fitzgerald, Thomas Jefferson, etc.-many of whom have never been to or heard of Chapman.

108 The lemon bars at the Gypsy Den Café & Reading Room. 2930 Bristol St., Costa Mesa, (714) 549-7012.

109 The ultimate in miniature golf: the Greens at Park Placein Irvine. It's a real miniature-golf course: real grass, real sand, real running stream. And playing it involves the same strategy you'd encounter on a full-size course. You have to lay up on some shots (doglegs, rocks and vegetation prevent you from putting onto the green on some holes). It's like you're Paul Bunyan tearing up Pebble Beach. 3301 Michelson, Irvine, (949) 250-7888.

110 Art quickie: Doy Henley Galleria at Chapman University. Hint: it's the north half of the second-floor hallway.

111 The lamb kebabsat the Byblos Café. They're served with as much hummus as you can digest. 129 N. Chapman, Orange, (714) 538-7180.

112 "Black Americans [should] be grateful for the fact that their ancestors were rescued from the horrors of African tribal warfare [and were] brought here by our southern states, albeit as slaves." Letter to the Register, July 18, 1994.

113 The willingness and pride of Laguna Beach High School sports teams-all while being known as "the Artists."

114Libertarians, Libertarians, Libertarians!

115 Sunsetat the bluffs at Little Corona.

116 Grand Marnier-infused, chocolate-dipped, juicy strawberriesfrom Las Brisas. 361 Cliff Dr., Laguna Beach, (949) 497-5434

117 Parkingin Laguna Beach during the summer provides a chance to bone up on one's hunting/gathering skills.

118 Don Baylor, the only Angel ever voted the American League's Most Valuable Player and who wants to and ought to be Angels manager next year.

119 Given the Angels' past hiring practices, Donald Duck probably has a better shot at the job than Baylor.

120 Getting laid in Irvine, self-declared romance capital of OC.

121 The three-cheese Feast Burger at Laguna Feast. 801 Glenneyre, Laguna Beach, (949) 494-0642.

122 Feeding the VERY fat squirrels outside the Crystal Cove Shake Shack. 7408 Pacific Coast Highway, Laguna Beach, (949) 497- 9666.

123 And the date shakes there are worth the possible spinout you'll maneuver pulling into the parking lot.

124The Killer Dana Coffee-with one cream and two sugars-at J.C. Bean Coffeehouse, which for some reason always tastes better when you get it at the drive-through. 34114 Pacific Coast Hwy., Dana Point, (949) 496-4700.

125 The archery range in Fountain Valley's Mile Square Regional Park.

126 It's open daily to the public, and it's free.

127 But archers have to bring their own equipment.

128 The knowledge that a significant portion of our neighbors harbor bows and arrows.

129 Hey! Bows and arrows don't kill people . . .

130 They just wing 'em.

131The peppermint ice cream at Hans' Homemade Ice Cream. 3640 S. Bristol St., Santa Ana, (714) 979-8815.

132 Sittingon a bench at West Jetty View Park, where you can watch the sun set or just gaze at the coves of Little Corona from under palms at the Wedge in Newport (made world-famous by its appearance in the opening credits of Gilligan's Island).

133 The earthquake room at Discovery Science Center is intended for kids, but we use it to show out-of-towners what we're ostensibly living with every day. 2500 N. Main St., Santa Ana, (714) 542-2823.

134 Buster the Bus, Lego City, the Bee Observatory and the Dino Dig at the Children's Museum at La Habra. 301 S. Euclid St., La Habra, (562) 905-9793.

135 True story: I once dated Buster the Bus.

136 Yeah, no, it's true.

137 What happened? Oh, he's a nice guy, but he was always on the road.

138 Lion Country Safari . . . oh, yeah. It's not there anymore.

139 Stanton!

140 Costa Mesa Speedway. Not even the top-fuel dragsters in Pomona are as thrilling as seeing the gate come up and six riders zip by without brakes. The smell of gasoline and burning oil in the air is almost an aphrodisiac. And you know you're having a good time when little clumps of dirt end up at the bottom of your plastic cup of draft beer. Unfortunately, "Fox Night" no longer exists because of discrimination reasons, but you can still count on "Skirt Night" and its charming slogan: "Where the dirt hits the skirt." And there's free parking. Costa Mesa Speedway season is April through September, Saturday nights at the Costa Mesa Fairgrounds. 88 Fair Dr., Costa Mesa, (714) 708-3247.

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