Guilty Pleasures


801 All I do is lie, and that has made me immuneto compliments.

802 St. John's Lutheran Church: with its steep pitched roof, majestic spires and gothic windows, the 80-year-old cathedral just off the Orange Circle is a sight to behold during the day. But come by at night, when the place glows from the inside, and understand the beauty of one of OC's most magnificent churches. 154 S. Shaffer St., Orange, (714) 288-4400.

803 Miss Thang.

804 Having to call for an appointment to check out the Glen Landin Railroad Museumin Orange because it's BY APPOINTMENT ONLY. (714) 639-4137.

805 Lack of viable public transit gives you impetus to fix your car.

806 Bus prices catching up with the cost of a pack of cigarettes.

807 Pack of cigarettes catching up with the cost of a used Hyundai.

808 Humiliation by piano player at Sing Sing at the Irvine Spectrum. Me singing, all those people laughing, and the piano players playing. I'm delighted-no, really, delighted-you all had so much fun at my expense. 71 Fortune Dr., Irvine, (949) 453-8999.

809 The Chantal and Vicki Shoppe: hip duds and breezy California fashions. 1799 Newport Blvd., Ste. A-106, Costa Mesa, (949) 646-7506.

810 Only 45 minutes from Legoland.

811 Woo-hoo!

812 George Argyros' oh-so-kissable ass.

813 Woo . . . eeww.

814 Late, great poet Allen Ginsberg's shot at Orange County, "Birdbrain!" which he penned in 1980 while traveling through Croatia.

815 "Birdbrain runs the World!/Birdbrain is the ultimate product of Capitalism/ Birdbrain lowers North California's water table, sucking it up for Orange County Agribusiness Banks/Birdbrain runs the Pentagon; his brother runs the CIA, Fatass Bucks!"

816 The band named John Wilkes Kissing Booth.

817 The breakfast burrito at Cabo Loco Grill is worth waking up for. Beans, chorizo, cheeses, diced green peppers, Mexican-style potatoes and scrambled eggs are stuffed into a warm tortilla. 20702 Lake Forest Dr., Lake Forest, (949) 707-5346.

818 One of your neighbors could be a member of a clown gang.

819 The preceding statement is true.

820 The persistence of Sam H. Clauder II, whose two-year effort to legalize industrial hemp-a non-high-producing cousin of marijuana that can be made into rope, paper, nontoxic paints, clean-burning fuel and even food-may be paying off. Recently passed state legislation, which came at the behest of Clauder's Californians for Industrial Renewal, calls for studies on the wonder plant's feasibility.

821 Add sauce, and it makes its own water.

822 A local zine straight outta Capistrano, Bunnigrrrl's latest issue features political ranting, personal stories, the joys of caffeine, and more bunny obsessing. Wishbone, PMB 200, 32158 Camino Capistrano A, San Juan Capistrano, CA 92675. $2.

823Nine varieties of martiniswill get your juices flowing at Harbor Grill. 34499 Golden Lantern, Dana Point, (949) 240-1416.

824 American Airlines flights to Las Vegas leave John Wayne Airport from Gate 13!

825 Looking fatedead in the eye-and laughing!

826 Dennis Rodman's house.

827 I love the fact that I can come home to OC and go to Balboa Island for a chocolate banana and walk along the water and not worry about seeing a duck shot by a Wynonna Judd fan club member. (Reader Jeff Rankin)

828 1-800-HI-WALLY.

829 The swap meet at Orange Coast College: best place to buy an animatronic gorilla that sings and dances the macarena.

830 Classic Industries is to muscle-car owners what Star Trek conventions are to geeks. It's a gleaming warehouse of vintage and reproduction parts for pre-1979 Chevrolets-especially Camaros and Novas. 17832 Gothard St., Huntington Beach, (714) 847-6887.

831 Eating a chile relleno while watching a soccer game at Super Antojitos. 2949 Fairview Rd., Costa Mesa, (714) 437-1824.

832 Listening to authentic soccer fans shout "Gooooooooaaaaaaaalllll!!!!" at Super Antojitos.

833 Food Not Bombsfeeding people at the Santa Ana courthouse.

834 Not just a Web site, but also a great used-CD store. As pathetic as it sounds, we know that you haven't gotten around to replacing your record collection. But isn't it time you did? After a few cracks at SecondSpin. com's constantly rotating stock of used CDs, you'll be out the door with CD copies of your precious music quicker than you can say Off the Wall. 1781-A Newport Blvd., Costa Mesa, (949) 650-8870.

835 Many people are relocating to Corona.

836 Kerry Getz, OC coffeehouse songstress extraordinaire. Her self-released album Apollo is a one-woman Lilith Fair.

837 UCI Medical Center is more fun to watch than ER!

838 Latitude 33, OC's only remotely adequate selection of poetry. 311 Ocean Ave., Laguna Beach, (949) 494-5403.

839 The words and voice of Sublime's Brad Nowell, who lives on every half-hour on KROQ.

840 Watching bubbles burst, such as when studies came out recently showing that most welfare recipients are white and live in suburbs or rural areas. That shattered long-held beliefs that typical public-assistance takers are unemployed, inner-city minority members whose families have slurped from the government trough for generations.

841 Becoming jiggy.

842 Jiggyas all hell.

843 "I noted [that Sheriff Brad] Gates proposes to hire five jail cooks. I reluctantly agree that even prisoners need to eat." Letter to the Register, June 27, 1996.

844 Boat shows at Christmas in Newport Harbor!

845 Showboatsthat used to be lousy restaurants that have morphed into fabulous little museums. Newport Harbor Nautical Museum, 151 E. Coast Hwy., Newport Beach, (949) 675-8915.

846 The free Libertarian Alternative: best blatant Libertarian political propaganda.

847 The Orange County Register: second-bestblatant Libertarian-owned political propaganda.

848 Crème brûlée at the Gypsy Den Café & Reading Room. 2930 Bristol St., Costa Mesa, (714) 549-7012.

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