Miami update: The shooting death of an unarmed African-American man by police once again has the city on red alert. Three times in the past 20 years, civil unrest has followed such shootings. Civil unrest in Miami. Who'da thunk it? If brutish cops, angry Cubans and entitlement-cranky old people—their heads barely visible over the dashboards of their Coup de Villes—can't get along, what hope is there for the rest of us?
Indianapolis update: The Ku Klux Klan didn't start in Indiana—it just perfected the operation there, making the Hoosier state the veritable Ray Kroc of racial intolerance. You want fries with that? Et Tu, Miami:Wait a minute. Racial intolerance? Angry mobs? Overly aggressive cops? It's like the NFL never left Los Angeles. Home team:I have some friends who moved to Indiana because they said they wanted to get away from the crowds, the traffic and the crime, and they wanted to get "more house for the money." What they have now is a big house they spend a fortune to heat in the winter and cool in the summer. It gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "bang for your buck." TV Game: Miami committed the unpardonable sin of being the site for Miami Vice, which revived Don Johnson's career. I can't think of any shows shot with Indiana as the backdrop—unless you count the occasional Bobby Knight miniseries on Court TV. Consensus: Here's Miami: I just asked someone, "Is Miami the place where they had that crooked mayoral election?" The person looked puzzled and then said, "Probably." Miami is sleazy but seems to revel in its sleaze. Indiana seems like the kind of place that hides sleaze in dense forests and Dan Quayle's head, places where it can never be found. We'll root for Miami. May God have mercy on our souls.