Just across Euclid, on the right, is La Habra's most historic site, a monument commemorating the location of former President Richard Nixon's law office from 1939 to 1942. Unfortunately, the city doesn't provide pillows for comfortable genuflecting, so you'll just have to bring your own. This shrine is so holy that, according to legend, if you urinate on the monument's bronze plaque, you'll be blessed with good luck for the rest of your born days! Go ahead, try it!
Now we'll head north on Euclid and make a left onto Whittier Boulevard. We'll soon pass La Habra High School, home of the Highlanders. La Habra's most famous international celebrity, artist Mark Kostabi, attended La Habra High. He's the one who hires people for $7 per hour to paint the pictures he tells them to-and then signs his name when they're done. He has also called people who buy "his" pictures "suckers and fools." Certainly, La Habra can be proud of unleashing Kostabi's stupendous talent upon the world!
We'll continue west on Whittier and then make a left onto Beach Boulevard, back to our starting point. Coming up on the right on Beach is the Sunset Inn, which some ornery outsiders once tried to turn into a homeless shelter. They were spurned, though, thanks to the valiant efforts of La Habra's good-citizen soldiers, who raised a big stink about it. Through the years, La Habra's residents, politicians and even churches have turned away other efforts to create shelters for abused women and the terminally ill within the city.
(Speaking of the homeless: the city also has an anti-camping ordinance, which helps keep those weird people away-that's why you rarely see any. If you do, though, all you have to do is look the other way, so it feels as if they don't even exist!)
Is there a question from the back of the vehicle? Yes? Why, La Habra's official motto is "A Caring Community." Thanks for asking! While it's true that a grossly misinformed few think of La Habra as the armpit of Orange County, they're sorely mistaken. Why, the past two years alone have seen quite a rash of grisly murders, which are always exciting when the police cars show up with their lights flashing and sirens blaring! At least it gives everyone something to talk about over at the Super K!
Well, that's the end of our tour. Thanks for coming! I'm sure you now love La Habra just as much as I do-maybe even more!