By Gustavo Arellano
By R. Scott Moxley
By Alfonso Delgado
By Courtney Hamilton
By Joel Beers
By Peter Maguire
By Charles Lam
By Charles Lam
Rating: SUCC (1)
But that wasn't all! Oh, no! Since almost everyone was gone by 11:30 p.m., we braved the Tap House in Huntington Beach. (And if we had gotten into the whole politics of Windows on the Bay, you would have read that DJ Priestis an Elitist, and yet he's not at Windows on the Bay; he's playing the Tap House! Who fired whom, and who quit, and whose money count was off? Well, whatever. The Tap House is where DJ Priest is, and that's where you'll find him, and that's where you'll find people, although we hear that Saturdays at Windows on the Bay are jumping, but you know what? It's not a very big place, so we don't think we'd like it too crowded.)
And if there was ever a Spring Breakier kind of place, we haven't been there! Oh, no! Just about everyone was piled up on the little bandstand-you know, so they could be taller and blonder than everybody else. And the Tap House locals know the inside scoop: wear a white shirt so your breasts will show up better in the black light! You know, Orange County has an awful lot of strippers. We wonder why that is.
But where Windows on the Bay is classy and upscale, the Tap House is really, really young and super-superpacked. Everyone looks about 19, though we're assured it's a 21-and-over club. Also, everyone looks Greek (not gay Greek, but rather frat-and-sorority Greek; sorry for the confusion), which is attractive in an off-putting, sleazy kind of way. We didn't see any beer bongs or that thing where they hold you upside-down and pour tequila in your mouth and shake you, but we did see two blond girls grinding together, not because they're bisexual or lesbian, but because it turns the boys on. How do we know? We just do, okay?
Rating: NUBBY (2)
(1) Sophisticated, Upscale, Classy and Cool
(2) Nubile, Underage?, Blonde, Bi-acting, and Y? because we like you.