The Clinton scandal was on New Jersey Governor Christine Todd Whitman's mind when she made a Sept. 9 campaign swing through OC on behalf of fellow Republicans "Disco" Dan Lungren, who was just itching to be our next governor (keep on itchin', Danny boy), and Matt Fong, who tried to swipe Barbara Boxer's U.S. Senate seat (try again, Mattie). Bubba has left "Americans with a presidency that is demoralized," Whitman said at the birthplace of demoralized presidencies, the Richard Nixon Library and Birthplace in Yorba Linda. Ultraright dickwads in the Lincoln Club of Orange County whooped it up like an Arsenio Hall Show audience when Whitman expressed her "outrage" over Clinton's extra-credit assignments for intern Lewinsky: "I think perhaps the most offensive thing to me, besides his personal behavior, is he admitted going before the nation and lying to people." Hell, at least Clinton admitted to lying; Nixon never did. And to his everlasting credit, Reagan could not "recall" a damned thing. The shits. Whitman, who is poised to someday become commander in chief, later toured the Nixon Library's latest exhibit, "My Dearest Partner: Husbands and Wives in the White House." She must've nearly peed her panties when she got to the Bill and Hill display. Library officials swore the exhibit's timing was purely coincidental.

Among those who hadn't abandoned Clinton-at press time, anyway-was Congresswoman Loretta Sanchez (D-Garden Grove). The president gave her first election a much-needed credibility boost in 1996, and he's gone on to host star-studded fund-raisers in D.C. and LA for Capitol Hill's numero uno Latina. The peeps in Sanchez's central OC district support Clinton and "are not interested in this extracurricular garbage," she told the Reg on Sept. 11.

Dornan first called on Clinton to leave office about six years ago, but that, of course, had nothing to do with Ejacugate. That was just on general, right-wing-loon principle. Dornan sank his dentures into the latest brouhaha-natch. He called a Times reporter on Sept. 11 to declare himself "as sick over this as I was during Watergate." Indeed, the Starr Report's steamy details were enough to make Teddy Kennedy blush. Or was that just the Chivas? Fellow redface Dornan (his rouge ain't from liquor . . . allegedly), in his desperate stab to win back his congressional seat from Sanchez, directly linked his opponent to the Lewinsky affair. Nice try. Loser.

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