Breakin' the Law!

When did Barney Fife transfer to the Costa Mesa PD?

Speaking of lawbreaking, the Southern Culture on the Skids (SCOTS) show at the Foothill had more than its fair share of girls in hooker shoes. And I was one of them. (I bought them by accident. I tried them on for kicks, and all of a sudden, I was 5-foot-8!) Luckily, I only bit the dust once-and it was at the end of the show as I was trying to lift a copy of last week's hefty Best of OC from a pile on the ground. But a SCOTS show without a falling girl is like a box of KFC without breasts; who wants that?

The show was terrific, slathered in grease like a chicken-fried steak as they sang such favorites as "Camel Walk," "Firefly" and "Eight Piece Box." They did some stuff off their new album, too, but I was still caught up in some of my favorite lyrics-"It don't matter if your pants are shiny/If your dick is big or your dick is tiny"-so I didn't pay much attention. The rest of the crowd seemed to love it, though. Come back soon, SCOTS! We'll take you down to the motorcycle races at the Orange County Fairgrounds! And if we see a police dog, we'll stay real still.

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