The editors respond: No, we had the temerity to: (a) call Ezell a hypocrite (in Spanish), and (b) wait for you to leave town again before we respond to your letter so that we can be really nasty without you being around to do anything about it-just like Ezell!CLINTON'S PHALLUS FALLACYIf the "OC Weakly" can pause a moment in its celebration of President Bill Clinton's violation of the 11th Commandment, surf to view 47 wrongful deaths of remarkable convenience to Clinton ("Starr F*cker," Sept. 18). With Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr reaching out to indict the whole rat's nest of White House operatives, one anticipates a remarkable incidence of Arkancides forthcoming. Is Clinton limber enough to point a shotgun at the back of his own head and fire-twice?-Uncle Al Schwartz
via e-mail

Nephew Will Swaim responds: Far from celebrating Clinton, we actually suggested that his gravest failure was this: in lying under oath, he lost a terrific opportunity to separate Republicans from their favorite topic of conversation-other peoples' sex lives. Keeping in mind that it's illegal to plead the Fifth in grand jury testimony, Clinton could have refused to answer Starr's questions about his relations with Monica Lewinsky by citing the Fourth Amendment (the one guaranteeing privacy). That might have forced a constitutional showdown over private activities among consenting adults. Instead, of course, Clinton lied. For uttering this truth, we expect the entire staff will end up as amusing footnotes on Uncle Al's conspiracy site. And, by the way, what on Earth is the 11th Commandment?ANARCHO-SYNDICALIST GIRLWe enjoyed meeting Commie Girl at the Jerry Brown event at the Catholic Worker and really liked her review of Brown's speech (Sept. 11). Isn't it amazing that a dyed-in-the-wool Socialist like herself and a couple of dyed-in-the-wool Libertarians like us agreed with almost everything Brown said? I'll bet you and other Socialist folks thought Libertarians were uncaring, extremist, ultraconservative types. But we, like Brown and yourself, think that healing our world depends on caring, compassionate individuals working at a local level. So, how do we create more caring people? With 1,200 new laws per year? With a gigantic bureaucracy that holds a monopoly on police force? That plan, the former governor of California pointed out, has been tried-and it failed. The answer lies in letting people know they are valuable human beings and are able to help themselves and their communities. When free from government coercion, folks will pull together and come up with real solutions to real problems in their local areas-solutions that really work, not revolving-door policies that invent more laws, requiring more police agencies to monitor, catch and penalize more newly created criminals, requiring a huge prison industry to jail the steady stream of government-school graduates who fill them. Brown suggested that people would be better off governing themselves. As evidence, he offered the example of a halfway house that takes no state money and requires the inmates to learn marketable skills (ending the revolving-door syndrome of crime and prison). He also spoke of a school run by parents and the local community. These are examples of giving power to the people-not to the government. Brown bravely acknowledged that, as governor of California, he was wrong for thinking that more laws would help more people. Like Libertarians, he suggests that the best way to really help people is by empowering them to help themselves and their communities. Libertarians don't believe in using force when cooperation, persuasion and incentives work much better. People can best help others when they do it because it is right-not because they are mandated by law. As long as government is controlled by corporations and special interests (and it always will be), community values will be undermined. Yes, Rebecca Schoenkopf, there is an answer to California's problems, and we all admire Brown for talking about it. His answer-and the Libertarian answer-is self-government. So . . . why do you call yourself a Socialist? -Doug Scribner
Mark Hilgenberg
Libertarian Party of Orange County

Rebecca Schoenkopf responds: Because it's trendy?BIGGER MOUSE TRAPSI enjoyed your Disney Spectacular issue (Sept. 11). But Dave Wielenga missed a key point in his case for buying Disney stock rather than Angels season tickets (Sports, Sept. 11). Not only would this have been a wise investment strategy across the board, but stockholders of record also would have received a two-for-one stock split in July. One more benefit: Disney stockholders get a copy of the annual report, which is usually worth $5 at a Disneyana convention a few years later. Hey, it pays for a beer at the Big E.-Steve Smith
Costa Mesa

I commend Steve Lowery for conquering Disneyland in a day (Sept. 11). But any unchaperoned SoCal native Disney aficionado who is 11 years old can tell you that ride cramming is an art. I speak from personal experience, with map memorization and pre-Disneyland anticipation. I've got my sights set on Walt Disney World! -Nani Chen

Steve Lowery responds: I commend your commendation of me, fellow traveler, but I really must protest you lumping my well-considered, surgically executed conquest of every ride at Disneyland with what you so charmingly refer to as "ride cramming." While I do agree that, under proper-heroic-conditions, the stockpiling of rides at Disneyland can amount to art, the fact is that where art is concerned, there remains only one Mona Lisa. Godspeed at Disney World. THE PEOPLE VS. KEN STARRI agree with Wyn Hilty's take on the Starr Report (Machine Age, Sept. 25). I was one of the many who read the report online, and I was appalled by the graphic detail. Did I really want to hear about Bill's cigar fetish or that he didn't ejaculate the first couple of times because he wasn't sure if he could trust Monica? Do I want my 13-year-old daughter to read this crap? The right wingers have once again shown us their stinking hypocrisy by subjecting the American people to this needless pile of smut-filled cow dung. It is pornography that has been bought and paid for by the American people. Now we get to see the video, too. Gee, did the right-wing hypocrites give it the MA [mature audiences] rating it deserves, or did they think the public's "right to know" is more important than protecting them from filth? Shame, shame, shame. After this is all over, Starr should get a job writing for Hustler.-Jeanne Foster-Edwards
Rancho Santa Margarita

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