Voltaire said it best more than two centuries ago: "I have made but one prayer in my life: 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it."
The French philosopher, of course, never met Robert K. Dornan, so he did not know the full extent of ridiculousness.
In recent weeks, Orange County's infamous bitter, defeated ex-congressman stole a page from Dick Nixon's slimy campaign playbook: he created his own version of an enemies list, publishing 35 names on his campaign committee's official Web site (www.bobdornan.com).
Yours truly made Dornan's list. He calls me a "phone-sex pamphleteer" (in reference to the OC Weekly) and fingers me as one of the "Fraud Stonewallers" involved in his imaginary voter-fraud conspiracy.
I know why I'm on the list. He claims "East Coast Jews" sent me to OC to "take him out" and that I personally carried "wetbacks" across the Mexican border to vote against him in 1996. Plus, there have been all those unflattering Weekly articles about his violent spousal abuse, evasion of combat duty during the Korean War, and other sordid hypocrisies.